I have been lamenting my absence from social media of late, as well as my disruption in blogging. My anxiety level was climbing as my inner voice chanted, “You should be ……. You should do”… and on and on. Of course then my monkey mind rambled over to the dire consequences that await me: “You won’t have any friends, you won’t succeed, “ BLAH, BLAH, Blah Blah…"
I was getting angry with myself until I realized that there are only 24 hours in a day, and that I have to spend at least six of them sleeping.
“Shoulding” on yourself is not the way to joy or peace. I have come to believe that one’s true path to success and fulfillment on this planet is to become more aware of who we are; to rediscover everyday what an “inspired” life means for each of us. It is not something that anyone else can prescribe for you. Only you know what food, what work, what friendships and what pastimes most nurture you and allow you to bring the most joy and love to yourself and therefore, to the world. And if you or I are not arriving at this place of joy and love, then perhaps we need to ask ourselves, “Why not?”
Having realized that no one else can tell me how to live my “right” life, I have to put my big girl pants on and choose where to focus my energy. And some of those choices are painful! Why? Some behaviors are familiar and comfortable habits so they are hard to let go of (like wanting to be liked) and yet, they no longer serve me. And some are things that I enjoy, like hanging out on social media for hours, leave me insufficient time to pursue my soul’s passions.
Yup, change is challenging, but not embracing my soul’s desires with full engagement feels worse.
I am mourning many of the things that I will give up to get other things, and also celebrating the delights that I receive in so doing. These choices are becoming more important for me as I enter the second half of my life and I understand with greater clarity that my energy and my time on this earth are not unlimited.
I find I am beginning to appreciate the things I am doing more, and fretting less about the things that I am not. I am diving deep into my yoga studies and yoga teaching; I am offering NVC practice groups and workshops; I am coaching clients and fulfilling business agreements that bring me great satisfaction. I have been reading more, exploring a loving relationship and spending more time being mindful.
This feels good. This is my path. And I wonder, what is yours? What do you need to do to create a life that delights you and that serves the world? If you can’t do everything, what is stopping you from doing what you love?