Project U. Blog

Listen to the Whisper of Your Soul

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Feb 07, 2019 @ 02:10 PM

After attending Stanford University, and working in finance I decided to get my MBA so I could move into marketing, because that felt more like me. I enjoyed marketing more than finance, but I especially enjoyed mentoring and coaching people and helping them to manage through challenging, high conflict situations, like some of what you find in franchise organizations. I also discovered a passion for innovating and facilitating change. With a deep drive to create better outcomes for organizations, and the people in them, I innovated ways to successfully implement large-scale projects that optimized successful adoption of these programs.

Sadly, at the time, there was an old-school definition of leadership in several of the places I worked. When I collaborated with stakeholders, I was scolded for “compromising”, which to me was actually partnering in order to search for best outcomes. I was told never to admit that I made a mistake, even when I did. That felt wrong to me. I wanted to take accountability for my projects, and to lead with transparency. How could anyone trust me if I shirked off the truth and blamed someone else? I AM NOW

And yet, these were the lessons being offered to me. When I didn’t do them, I was called a “Pollyanna.” I continued to go against the grain and to follow my intuition. I collaborated, I listened, I told the truth, and I offered transparency. And amazingly enough, my projects were very successful. In other words, they were well executed and got great results. People trusted me, called me a straight shooter and believed I had their best interests at heart. But along the way, there was a price to pay. Supervisors criticized me, until my results proved that my approach was working. Sadly, the situation caused me to second-guess myself. Here were my bosses telling me that I was doing it all wrong, that I was weak. There was a part of me that believed them. But the whispering of my soul was too strong. I had to do it my way. And luckily it worked. Even better, many companies today are embracing a more authentic approach to leadership, encouraging engagement with employees and stakeholders with "power with” versus "power over. "

Experiencing and overcoming my own struggles in work and life led me to want to support others as a coach. Helping others to navigate their work and personal lives has become my passion: empowering people to align with their soul so that their journey can be authentic and sweet. Sometimes we need support to know that we are okay, that our perspective matters and that we are not wrong, or flawed. That is now my work: to help people hear the whisper of their souls so their life and their work can be as it was intended: happier, more meaningful and satisfying.

 

Tags: conflict, power, align, coach, authentic, passion, leadership, franchise, transparency, intuition, accountability, engagement, facilitating

If You Can’t Do It All, Why Not Do What You Love?

Posted by Catherine Saar on Tue, Mar 25, 2014 @ 10:08 AM

I have been lamenting my absence from social media of late, as well as my disruption in blogging.   My anxiety level was climbing as my inner voice chanted, “You should be …….  You should do”… and on and on.  Of course then my monkey midescribe the imagend rambled over to the dire consequences that await me:  “You won’t have any friends, you won’t succeed, “ BLAH, BLAH, Blah Blah…"

I was getting angry with myself until I realized that there are only 24 hours in a day, and that I have to spend at least six of them sleeping.

“Shoulding” on yourself is not the way to joy or peace. I have come to believe that one’s true path to success and fulfillment on this planet is to become more aware of who we are; to rediscover everyday what an “inspired” life means for each of us.  It is not something that anyone else can prescribe for you. Only you know what food, what work, what friendships and what pastimes most nurture you and allow you to bring the most joy and love to yourself and therefore, to the world.    And if you or I are not arriving at this place of joy and love, then perhaps we need to ask ourselves, “Why not?”

Having realized that no one else can tell me how to live my “right” life, I have to put my big girl pants on and choose where to focus my energy.  And some of those choices are painful!  Why?  Some behaviors are familiar and comfortable habits so they are hard to let go of (like wanting to be liked) and yet, they no longer serve me. And some are things that I enjoy, like hanging out on social media for hours, leave me insufficient time to pursue my soul’s passions.

Yup, change is challenging, but not embracing my soul’s desires with full engagement feels worse.

I am mourning many of the things that I will give up to get other things, and also celebrating the delights that I receive in so doing.   These choices are becoming more important for me as I enter the second half of my life and I understand with greater clarity that my energy and my time on this earth are not unlimited.

I find I am beginning to appreciate the things I am doing more, and fretting less about the things that I am not.  I am diving deep into my yoga studies and yoga teaching; I am offering NVC practice groups and workshops; I am coaching clients and fulfilling business agreements that bring me great satisfaction.  I have been reading more, exploring a loving relationship and spending more time being mindful.

This feels good.   This is my path.  And I wonder, what is yours?  What do you need to do to create a life that delights you and that serves the world?  If you can’t do everything, what is stopping you from doing what you love?

 

Tags: coaching, peace, inspired life, yoga, success, joy, nurture, passion, NVC, teaching, workshops, shoulding

Drop the Struggle and Find Your Passion

Posted by Catherine Saar on Tue, Nov 06, 2012 @ 08:07 PM

As a coach, I often hear, “I want to find my passion.” While some of us clearly know what we are called to do, others of us don’t.  If you are a passion seeker, here’s a clue: Drop the struggle.  Anxiety about passion won’t help you discover it faster.  For most of us, passion does not arrive as an instantaneous inspiration, but rather, it emerges as we learn who we are. 

So instead of obsessing about finding your passion, can you get passionate about exploration?  What’s happening for you now?   If your job is boring, how might you change it?  If you are burnt-out, how might you take better care of yourself?  Figure out what is stopping you.    Know it, taste it, improve it, if needed.  Try new things; be surprised by what you enjoy.  Is it possible to stop focusing on how you want things to be, and start accepting, (or even being in love with) what you are doing right now?   

For me, it’s been like putting together a jigsaw puzzle where I’ve gathered up the pieces over the course of a 35-year treasure hunt.  While part of me wishes I could have known my path sooner, it would not have been possible.  It’s only recently that I’ve gathered up enough puzzle pieces (skills and awareness) to identify the picture that has emerged.

Here are some interesting questions to help you start to consider your life’s path. How many of these can you answer?

  • What do you love?

  • What are your skills and gifts?

  • What do you care about deeply? What moves you to tears? What issues get you angry, absorb you or bring you joy?

  • What would you do for work even if you weren’t paid to do it?

  • What is essential to your happiness?

  • What do you really need?

  • How would you describe your essential self?  Are you a problem solver, a poet, an adventurer, a maker, a storyteller, a teacher, a peacemaker, a hermit?  (Tip: Observe your patterns of behavior to get to the answer to this – rather than trying to label yourself with what you would like your essential self to be!)

Your answers to these questions are a clue to your level of self-awareness. For any that you can’t answer, get curious. Can you take a class, try a workshop, enter a contest – or work as a volunteer?  Remember that if something you try doesn’t bring you joy, (or doesn’t fit well with your skills and gifts), you can move on.

Pay attention if any of these questions awaken your inner critic. What conflicts hold you back from doing what you love?  One common issue is money. For example, if you want to be an artist, and you believe you need to earn a six-figure income to keep you afloat, ask yourself, is that absolutely true?  If you are willing to look at what you really need and want, you may find that there are a million possible creative solutions to your dilemma. Could you pursue art as a secondary money making venture?  Can you change your living situation and/or your budget so you can feed your passion until you can earn those six figures? You get the idea. Getting clear on needs and desires allows you to create many choices that can lead you to your right path.

You may also need to get clear on limiting beliefs.  Perhaps you think that following your passion is selfish and that being selfish is bad.  Is that really true?  Explore the assumptions and self-judgments that stop you from realizing your full potential and joy. If this is new to you, check out some of the many available resources, including coaching programs and books like “Loving What Is”, by Byron Katie and “I Could Do Anything if I Only Knew What  It Was” by Barbara Sher.

In short, getting on a path, any path, will take you somewhere.  And somewhere is better than being stuck sitting around lamenting that you don’t know what you want.  Don’t wait for the perfect answer to find you.  Instead, follow your light, follow your bliss.  If an idea sparkles for you, give it a go.  Have faith.  Your life will take care of itself.

Tags: anxiety, Byron Katie, Loving What Is, Barbara Sher, stuck, joy, struggle, burnt-out, bliss, coach, job, life, passion, exploration, inner critic, limiting beliefs

Five Paths Back to Your Authentic Self

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Mar 08, 2012 @ 11:01 AM

homepageiStock 000011612569SmallbutterflyHave you ever noticed that when you are doing what you love, you feel peaceful, clear and alive? You feel like you have energy to go on for hours without tiring and you can’t wait to do it again.  In these moments, you are aligned in body, spirit and mind.  All is well with the world.

On the other hand, when you’re not excited about getting out of bed in the morning or you find yourself exhausted all the time, check in.   If nothing seems good enough, is it because you are spending all your energy keeping up appearances to fit into other’s expectations?  Are you possibly living by your own faulty assumptions and expectations about what your life “should be”?

Listen for the whisper of your authentic self.  When you engage in activities that please your parent(s), your lover or someone other than you, chances are, you are not honoring your truth.    The funny thing about that is that your truth won’t leave you alone.  It pushes on you, often in some subconscious way, creating stress and fogginess.  Sometimes you may even create bad habits like overeating or engaging in substance abuse to better ignore that small voice nagging at you, trying to tell you,  ‘something is not right here.’

We are often afraid to hear what our inner voice has to say.  There may be guilt, anger, conflict and ultimately, a need to take corrective action if we are courageous enough to allow ourselves to pay attention. But that voice is your friend.  It is the voice that wants you to experience the joy of aligning to your life purpose.  Like a good friend, it will keep nagging you to do the right thing for you.  

I won’t kid you.  If you’re not in the habit of honoring your authentic self, it can be a challenging journey to acknowledge who you are.  You may disappoint some people in your life.  You may leave some others behind.  You may need to start a new career.  It can be scary – BUT, the place it will lead you - back to yourself - will be incredibly meaningful and empowering.   

If you aren’t sure where or how to start to listen to your inner voice, here are some of my favorite resources and ideas to get you started:

1) Start a mindfulness or a meditation practice of your choice.  Any mindfulness practice will put you back in touch with yourself.  There are tons of resources online – and practices come in many flavors.  Explore and experiment. 

2) Create space and time in your life to do more of the things you love.  Take 30 minutes a day (or more) to do something for you.

3) Find a book to guide you.  Here are some of my favorites:  

4) Work with a coach.  Individual or group coaching can be useful if you want a partner to help support and guide you toward clarity about your authentic path.  (More on this)

5) Work with a therapist.  Therapy may be extremely beneficial for certain situations.  If you have experienced trauma, or face serious emotional issues or medical conditions, including anxiety and depression, working with a psychotherapist may be an important first step to finding your way.

Once you find your personal truth and accept who you are and what you value as being good and worthwhile, you can begin to make choices that lead you to more joy.  Take a breath and listen.  Know that you are worth it.

Interested in a complimentary 30-minute coaching consultation?  Call me at 781-237-3420 or send me an e-mail at cat@theprojectcoach.com  to find out how you can clarify your goals and make your dreams come true.

Tags: coaching, clarity, conflict, peaceful, spirit, expectations, your truth, substance abuse, guilt, courageous, empowering, explore, Martha Beck, Barbara Sher, body, doing what you love, clear, aligned, mind, keeping up appearances, authentic self, overeating, afraid, meditation, things you love, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron, choices, make your dreams come true, inner voice, coach, goals, energy, exhausted, stress, bad habits, anger, life purpose, new career, meaningful, mindfulness, experiment, The Joy Diet, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, trauma, emotional issues, complimentary coaching session, passion, creativity, therapy, breath, worth