Project U. Blog

Listen to the Whisper of Your Soul

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Feb 07, 2019 @ 02:10 PM

After attending Stanford University, and working in finance I decided to get my MBA so I could move into marketing, because that felt more like me. I enjoyed marketing more than finance, but I especially enjoyed mentoring and coaching people and helping them to manage through challenging, high conflict situations, like some of what you find in franchise organizations. I also discovered a passion for innovating and facilitating change. With a deep drive to create better outcomes for organizations, and the people in them, I innovated ways to successfully implement large-scale projects that optimized successful adoption of these programs.

Sadly, at the time, there was an old-school definition of leadership in several of the places I worked. When I collaborated with stakeholders, I was scolded for “compromising”, which to me was actually partnering in order to search for best outcomes. I was told never to admit that I made a mistake, even when I did. That felt wrong to me. I wanted to take accountability for my projects, and to lead with transparency. How could anyone trust me if I shirked off the truth and blamed someone else? I AM NOW

And yet, these were the lessons being offered to me. When I didn’t do them, I was called a “Pollyanna.” I continued to go against the grain and to follow my intuition. I collaborated, I listened, I told the truth, and I offered transparency. And amazingly enough, my projects were very successful. In other words, they were well executed and got great results. People trusted me, called me a straight shooter and believed I had their best interests at heart. But along the way, there was a price to pay. Supervisors criticized me, until my results proved that my approach was working. Sadly, the situation caused me to second-guess myself. Here were my bosses telling me that I was doing it all wrong, that I was weak. There was a part of me that believed them. But the whispering of my soul was too strong. I had to do it my way. And luckily it worked. Even better, many companies today are embracing a more authentic approach to leadership, encouraging engagement with employees and stakeholders with "power with” versus "power over. "

Experiencing and overcoming my own struggles in work and life led me to want to support others as a coach. Helping others to navigate their work and personal lives has become my passion: empowering people to align with their soul so that their journey can be authentic and sweet. Sometimes we need support to know that we are okay, that our perspective matters and that we are not wrong, or flawed. That is now my work: to help people hear the whisper of their souls so their life and their work can be as it was intended: happier, more meaningful and satisfying.

 

Tags: conflict, power, align, coach, authentic, passion, leadership, franchise, transparency, intuition, accountability, engagement, facilitating

Five Paths Back to Your Authentic Self

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Mar 08, 2012 @ 11:01 AM

homepageiStock 000011612569SmallbutterflyHave you ever noticed that when you are doing what you love, you feel peaceful, clear and alive? You feel like you have energy to go on for hours without tiring and you can’t wait to do it again.  In these moments, you are aligned in body, spirit and mind.  All is well with the world.

On the other hand, when you’re not excited about getting out of bed in the morning or you find yourself exhausted all the time, check in.   If nothing seems good enough, is it because you are spending all your energy keeping up appearances to fit into other’s expectations?  Are you possibly living by your own faulty assumptions and expectations about what your life “should be”?

Listen for the whisper of your authentic self.  When you engage in activities that please your parent(s), your lover or someone other than you, chances are, you are not honoring your truth.    The funny thing about that is that your truth won’t leave you alone.  It pushes on you, often in some subconscious way, creating stress and fogginess.  Sometimes you may even create bad habits like overeating or engaging in substance abuse to better ignore that small voice nagging at you, trying to tell you,  ‘something is not right here.’

We are often afraid to hear what our inner voice has to say.  There may be guilt, anger, conflict and ultimately, a need to take corrective action if we are courageous enough to allow ourselves to pay attention. But that voice is your friend.  It is the voice that wants you to experience the joy of aligning to your life purpose.  Like a good friend, it will keep nagging you to do the right thing for you.  

I won’t kid you.  If you’re not in the habit of honoring your authentic self, it can be a challenging journey to acknowledge who you are.  You may disappoint some people in your life.  You may leave some others behind.  You may need to start a new career.  It can be scary – BUT, the place it will lead you - back to yourself - will be incredibly meaningful and empowering.   

If you aren’t sure where or how to start to listen to your inner voice, here are some of my favorite resources and ideas to get you started:

1) Start a mindfulness or a meditation practice of your choice.  Any mindfulness practice will put you back in touch with yourself.  There are tons of resources online – and practices come in many flavors.  Explore and experiment. 

2) Create space and time in your life to do more of the things you love.  Take 30 minutes a day (or more) to do something for you.

3) Find a book to guide you.  Here are some of my favorites:  

4) Work with a coach.  Individual or group coaching can be useful if you want a partner to help support and guide you toward clarity about your authentic path.  (More on this)

5) Work with a therapist.  Therapy may be extremely beneficial for certain situations.  If you have experienced trauma, or face serious emotional issues or medical conditions, including anxiety and depression, working with a psychotherapist may be an important first step to finding your way.

Once you find your personal truth and accept who you are and what you value as being good and worthwhile, you can begin to make choices that lead you to more joy.  Take a breath and listen.  Know that you are worth it.

Interested in a complimentary 30-minute coaching consultation?  Call me at 781-237-3420 or send me an e-mail at cat@theprojectcoach.com  to find out how you can clarify your goals and make your dreams come true.

Tags: coaching, clarity, conflict, peaceful, spirit, expectations, your truth, substance abuse, guilt, courageous, empowering, explore, Martha Beck, Barbara Sher, body, doing what you love, clear, aligned, mind, keeping up appearances, authentic self, overeating, afraid, meditation, things you love, The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron, choices, make your dreams come true, inner voice, coach, goals, energy, exhausted, stress, bad habits, anger, life purpose, new career, meaningful, mindfulness, experiment, The Joy Diet, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, trauma, emotional issues, complimentary coaching session, passion, creativity, therapy, breath, worth

How to Make Work Friendships Work

Posted by Catherine Saar on Wed, Jan 11, 2012 @ 03:58 PM

describe the imageEarly in my career, one of my bosses said, “Remember Catherine, the people you work with are not your friends.”  The irony of that is that she and I have been close friends for almost 20 years now!  And, although you can and will make great friendships at work, I have come to better understand the wisdom of her words over the years.

As we all know, much of our life is spent at work.  So, if we can’t be friendly with our coworkers, life could get pretty dull. Not only that, but getting things done at work often requires teamwork.  So, how to relate with coworkers on a personal basis takes some thought.  After all, at work, others judge your performance. You are paid to support the organization and its success, not to build a network of friends.  Luckily, one often can do both. From your employer’s perspective, you are being assessed on your ability to improve results and get along with others. So how can you enjoy friendships and still maintain a professional demeanor?

Remember, at work, its business first. While you want to enjoy your coworkers, each of you has a work agenda and you may not always agree.  Often, it’s not a problem when you and your coworker’s agendas match up, but inevitably, your agenda will be at cross-purposes with someone else’s at the workplace.  It may not always be fair or fun, but in life, that’s how it goes. 

So, here are some tips for navigating the world of workplace friendships.  (I’ve included some ideas from a blog post by career expert Heather R. Huhman on Glassdoor.com since her article inspired me to write on this topic. Check it out!)

  • Strive to work well with others:  Treat people with respect, negotiate in good faith, deliver on your promises and avoid surprises. In short, act with integrity. It engenders trust.  Feel free to share some laughs, but don’t forget why you are at work.  This is business and today’s ally may be tomorrow’s competitor. 

  • Remain appropriate and professional. Be mindful of what you share about your personal life with your co-workers. There is a reason that the expression “TMI”, (aka “too much information”) was invented. Are you sharing something about yourself that a coworker really needs to know?  Will it make their day or their workweek better and/or improve your working relationship? If not, you may want to keep it to yourself.

  • Get your work done and do it well.  Remember why you were hired. You have deadlines for a reason, so don’t get distracted and spend all your productive hours socializing.

  • Watch your language. Don’t gossip and speak badly about other workers. Keep conversations positive to help boost workplace morale. This guideline may also limit your downside when and if your coworker is not as resistant to spreading gossip as you are.

  • Set boundaries in direct reporting relationships. A friendship with your boss or your subordinate can be warm and fun, as long as it is respectful and appropriate.  Remember, at some point, you will have either to receive or give a performance evaluation. Don’t set yourself up for an uncomfortable situation.

  • Be a good communicator.  Many conflicts arise because of poor communication.   We all want to believe we will never be involved in a workplace conflict, but that’s not realistic. When conflicts arise, handle them maturely.  Focus on issues and behaviors and don’t get personal.  Use effective communication tools and do your best to work things out.   Consider the long-term results of any disagreement. You probably don’t want to ruin a friendship, a good working relationship or get yourself fired.

  • Have lunch together. Having lunch with coworkers allows you time to be more personal without compromising productivity. From time to time, dinner may also be appropriate; however, I believe that any after hour meeting are optional.  Use your best judgment as to how much time you want to spend with coworkers outside of the office - that time is yours.

To read the Heather R. Huhman’s blogpost that inspired and contributed to this discussion, check it out on Glassdoor.com  at  http://www.glassdoor.com/blog/guide-workplace-friendships/#disqus_thread

Good luck and may you enjoy a hassle free and friendly work environment.

Tags: professional, network, career, success, results, teamwork, performance, Glassdoor.com, good faith, laughs, ally, direct reporting, good communicator, conflict, personal, friendly, problem, competitor, boundaries, how to, friendships, respect, integrity, hired, productive, gossip, boss, work well with others, trust, friends at work, wisdom, coworkers, Heather R. Huhman, negotiate, TMI, language, morale, subordinate, evaluation, agenda