Project U. Blog

Five Tips to Get Your Goals Back on Track

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Jan 29, 2015 @ 10:48 PM

It's no longer early January.  And if you are like 50% of theiStock 000042811780Small population, you are beginning to slack off on the goals you set for this year. If so, try these five tips to help get you back on track:

1)   Abandon all or nothing thinking:

Perhaps you planned to workout seven days a week, or you hoped to get a new job by February first  - and now, those goals seem unrealistic. What about revising your plan to be more doable?  So many of us set enormous expectations that set us up for failure.  If we try to do too much too quickly, we can create goals that are very difficult to achieve and to maintain. And when we don’t meet our demanding standards, we give up all together.  Consider instead, that if you are doing even 5% more toward your goal this year versus last year, you will make progress.

What about harnessing the power of small steps to kick-start your journey?  Putting effort into your goal for even 15 minutes once a week is better than doing nothing at all. You can always add incrementally over time if you want to.  Remember the tortoise and the hare?  Slow and steady may be the best way to win your race.

2)   Use Motivation to fuel willpower

Many of us think that if we just had enough willpower, we could move mountains.  What we don’t understand is how to tap into our willpower.  While you may be able to force yourself to do something for a while, if your heart isn’t in it, it’s not going to be sustainable.  Motivation is the key that unlocks our ability to make good choices in difficult moments (aka “willpower”).

If you are seeking motivation, envision what outcome(s) you want for yourself. See yourself in your new body, your new role, or whatever it is that you want.  Imagine how good it will feel to have what you desire.  Visualize it, feel it in your body, and see it in your mind’s eye as if you already have it.  Write it down, or create a vision board, and in some way, visit your hoped-for outcome daily.

With your vision in mind, it will be easier to make better choices. Find one to three things that you can do this week that support your goal.  Make sure you feel at least 80 percent confident that you can get them done. If you don’t feel that confident, make the activities smaller and more achievable until you do.  Then next week, do it again. Check in with yourself.  How’s it going?  Make modifications if needed.

Keep it up.  There are many paths to your desired outcome and most of them won’t be straight lines. When your willpower starts to get shaky, revisit your vision (and perhaps use the next few tips as well)!

3)   Ditch the negative self talk

Beating yourself up may seem to be a handy tactic for staying on track, but in the long-term, it’s demotivating.  And since motivation (and feeling good about yourself) fuels willpower, self-compassion is a better alternative for self-correction. When you are relaxed and feeling like you are on your own team, it is easier to tap into your creative problem-solving ability.  

Try this:  If you “disappoint” yourself in some way, consider talking to yourself as of you were speaking to your best friend.  What would you say?  From that place of understanding and kindness, restore your faith in your ability to accomplish your goals and figure out your next move toward success. 

4)   Celebrate your accomplishments

When you make progress toward your vision, – no matter how small a step, you deserve a virtual self-hug.  It’s important to take a moment to reflect and feel good about what you have done. In fact, give yourself a “HELL YES!” Your celebration doesn’t have to be a big deal, maybe it’s just a moment of reflection  - or even 15 minutes of hard-earned down time.    Small rewards reinforce our positive behaviors and makes manifesting our vision more fun.  They keep us going.

5)   Get honest and face your fears

Last but not least, if you find you just can’t seem to make it happen, get super honest with yourself.  What is really holding you back from your next step?  If you notice that you are frustrated and just can’t make any progress, consider digging more deeply into what fears and beliefs might be getting in the way.

Most of us have old behaviors from childhood that helped us cope with our world.  Now that we are all grown up, many of those old strategies and beliefs don’t work too well any more.  In fact, subconscious patterns can get us stuck in an endless loop that often leaves us feeling helpless. Frequently, those patterns are hard to recognize.  If so, seek support.

There are many resources you can tap into to explore your inner world.  Journaling, coaching, therapy or   “THE WORK” of Byron Katie can get you into motion again.

Whatever you choose to do with this one sweet life, remember, you are here on this earth to contribute in your own unique way.  With patience, perseverance and self-compassion, you can accomplish your dreams.

 

 

Tags: Byron Katie, coaching, self compassion, negative self talk, The Work, motivation, accomplishments, willpower, celebrate

Successful New Year’s Resolutions Start with Clarity

Posted by Catherine Saar on Fri, Dec 28, 2012 @ 07:23 AM
Clarity

Success is not an accident.  In a survey of thousands of successful people, the top 10 percent most successful said that they thought about their dream all the time, and took steps daily to make it happen.  After all, can you get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going?  Having a clear vision and clear goals is essential to your journey.

Take a moment and think about something you’ve accomplished in your life that makes you feel good and proud.

How did you make it happen?          

My guess is that for most of you, it started with an intention or an idea. Chances are, you accomplished your goal because you knew what you wanted, and why you wanted it.  Whatever it was, whether it was losing weight, writing a book, or starting a business, it probably started with a desire and the motivation to achieve your dream, your vision.

So what dream have you yet to realize? In an article by author Bronnie Ware,  a nurse who worked with patients during the last three to twelve weeks of their lives, she documented what those patients regretted. The most common regret she heard was, “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”  

Isn’t that interesting? She found that when people neared the end of life, it was easy for them to see how many of their dreams had gone unfulfilled.

What a shame! But not a surprise.

Many things can hold us back from pursuing our dreams. In my coaching practice, I encounter all kinds of dreamers: those who have given up on their dreams, those who can’t remember what their dreams are, and those who can’t get motivated or get past the fear that they won’t be able to  make their dreams come true.

So while there can be many issues, the very first step in fulfillment is clear vision.  Mark Twain summed it up when he said, “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me …what they want.”

I suggest you take the very first step on the path toward living your best life by getting clear on what you truly want.   When your dreams come from your heart, and not from your head, your motivation provides fuel that will help you to see your dreams through to completion. When your heart is in the game, you will find a way to prevail.

If you struggle with this first step, here’s a fun exercise to get you started back on track. Can you complete the following statements?

1)      If I didn’t care what people thought I would _____________.

2)      If I were sure that I’d succeed, I would ______________.

3)      If I weren’t worried about the future, I would ____________________.

4)      The thing that has to change now is _________________________.

These four statements may begin to give you a clue of what’s really important to you.  If you find these statements difficult to answer, maybe you’ve lost touch with your dreams.  In that case, start paying attention. Notice what things get you excited about life; if you can’t find anything, start looking back into your past.  When was there a time that you felt inspired and excited?  What were you doing?  Excitement that you felt in the past can give you some great insight into what you might want to do next to get dreaming again.

Knowing your heart’s desire is only a first step, but it is a critical one. If you struggle with any part of this work, think about getting some additional support.  There is a free worksheet you can download off this site called Smart Resolution Success that gives you more guidance.  I also offer a complimentary 30-minute coaching consultation to get you started on your way.  Clients usually find that once they get clear about their dreams, it’s much easier to put together a project plan to bring them to fruition.  If you’re interested, contact me on this site, or e-mail cat@theprojectcoach.com.

I leave you with this thought from Henry David Thoreau, "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours."

Happy New Year!  I wish you much success in all you dream, and all you do.


Tags: coaching, heart, clarity, success, change, intention, losing weight, writing a book, complimentary, consultation, dream, succeed, motivation, fear, accomplished, Bronnie Ware, common regret, live a life true to myself, Mark Twain, worried, future, New Years Resolutions, vision, goals, starting a business, courage, inspired, Henry David Thoreau

"SMART" Resolutions Create Success

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Dec 29, 2011 @ 02:32 PM

What do you want to accomplish for yourself in the New Year?  Even though making new years champagne iStock 000018550149XSmallresolutions is a good start, it’s not enough.  Getting results requires motivation and action.  Most of the time, we have a vague notion of what we want and absolutely no plan for getting there.  Is it any wonder that we fail? So how can you be more effective this time?

1) What’s your motivation?  First and foremost, answer this question:  WHY is it important for you to make this resolution happen?  A clear motivation will keep you going on the tough days.  Can you see the difference between saying, “I want to lose 15 pounds,” and saying, “I want to look hot, hot, hot at my 20th reunion in June –so I’m going to lose 15 pounds!”  One is only a goal, the other, is a motivation with a goal attached.

2) Turn resolutions into “SMART” goals that are specific, measureable, actionable, realistic and time-oriented.  Once you know what you want and why you want it, get specific.  Don’t just say I want to increase my income so I can afford a new car.  Specify how much more you are going to earn, and create a do-able plan for how you are going to make it happen.  Here’s an example of how you can break a resolution down into SMART goals:

  • Specific- Exactly what do you want?

    • I want to make $15,000 more by the end of 2012.

  • Measurable- How much and by when?

    • By May 1, I want to consistently earn  $500 more a week for the remainder of the year

  • Actionable– Can it be done? 

    • Can I increase my income by $500 per week starting in the first week of May? (I have the time to invest so it seems do-able if I implement a marketing plan early in the year.)

  • Realistic– Are you confident that you can take the necessary action?

    • I can add five client hours per week at $100 per hour and I can create and implement a marketing campaign no later than February 15th.

  • Time-Oriented– What will you do when?

    • Each week I will invest four “unpaid” hours in marketing and five more hours in client work to get to $15,000 or more by end of the year.

3) Manage obstacles.  You will face obstacles – we all do.  Sometimes obstacles live in your mind – like fear of the unknown.  Sometimes, they will be real, for example, you might need resources, information or time.  Brainstorm your obstacles.  How might you deal with them?  Who or what can help you?  Don’t be afraid of obstacles.  Work through them.

4) Return to your motivation.  Know that you will have difficult moments. Every time you feel like giving up, think about the outcome: how you will look and feel driving a brand new shiny, dependable car, or how great you will feel when you look fabulous at your reunion.  Keep your vision in mind – or draw a picture and post it. Re-work your plan if need be.  Set new, additional goals  weekly and measure your progress.

5) Congratulate yourself for everything you do.  Every step toward your goal is progress.  Focus on what you achieve, not what you haven’t done!

So, have fun writing resolutions, but if you want to get them done, make sure you have a plan and make sure you don’t blow yourself out of the water by creating goals that are unrealistic or unattainable.  Small and steady can win the race. 

DOWNLOAD a SMART RESOLUTION SUCCESS WORKSHEET now, to help you realize your dreams in 2012!  

 Click me


Tags: dreams, goal, SMART, accomplish, motivation, create success, manage obstacles, download, free worksheet, vision, progress, realistic, achieve, win, plan, new year resolutions, measurable, congratulate

Job Hunters - Don’t Get Rejected for Being “OVERQUALIFIED”

Posted by Catherine Saar on Wed, Nov 02, 2011 @ 12:41 PM

Experience says that you have a good chance of being dismissed for being "overqualified", when you apply for a position that offers less money or a lesser title than what you previously enjoyed.    Shouldn’t companies want to hire more experience for less pay and less title?  Not if you consider the risk from their point of view.  They want to hire the person who fits in, who sticks around for a while and who won’t be a problem.   After all, employee turnover and dissatisfaction cost a company money and heartburn.

In other words, HR doesn’t want you in their office a year from now telling them how inept your supervisor is, or how unhappy you are with your pay.  The CEO doesn’t want you quitting after six months when something better comes along.  Some studies estimate that the cost of replacing a new employee who leaves after a short time ranges anywhere from 85% to 145% of that employee’s salary.

So if you think you want that job, how do you overcome potential company bias? If you’re lucky, the employer will be direct and ask you if you are overqualified for the position - then you can be ready with a good answer. On the other hand, they might toss your resume into the rejection pile before you even get a call.

To prepare for either case, you can address the challenge up front – first with yourself and then with the potential employer.  If you are clear with yourself about your motivation for applying,   you will be better able to communicate why you aren’t a high-risk hire - thereby increasing the odds of getting the job.  

Start by asking yourself these questions:

  • Can you honestly say that you are willing to stick around in the job for at least a year? 

  • Are you willing to take direction (perhaps from someone younger or with less experience than you have) when you are used to being in charge?

  • Is there a benefit that the position offers you (for example, personal development, or quality of life) that makes up for the lower pay or lower status?

If the answer is no to all of these questions, you are probably better off waiting for something else that is more appropriate for you. 

On the other hand, if you can honestly embrace the opportunity with a good attitude, and you can communicate your point of view effectively, you stand a better chance of staying in the game.

First, brainstorm all the benefits of taking this lesser paying/lesser-titled position. That might include learning something new, enjoying a short commute from home, or being part of a team again.  Then either prepare for your interview, or consider crafting a cover letter that includes your thinking.

Whatever it is, you want to clearly, honestly and convincingly communicate your intentions - in addition to selling the strengths and experience you bring to the table. 

Here are some examples:

  • In a cover letter, or an interview, you can give specific examples of how and why you are willing and even excited about taking this particular position.  Share what you hope to learn; talk about the benefit of a short commute, or the work hours being perfect.  Make it clear why you are not only a great fit for the position, but also why this position is a great fit for you.  For example:

    • “While I’ve enjoyed management over the last several years, I miss the excitement of sales and look forward to working directly with customers again.”

    • “Now that all of my children are grown, I am less focused on salary and title, and very excited about the contribution that I can make working as a product developer for your company.”

  • In an interview situation, you can reduce the company’s perceived risk  by suggesting creative solutions, like a trial period or a contract:

    • “I'm willing to commit for at least a year, and would be happy to sign a contract to that effect.”

    • "If you have concerns, why don’t we try a 30-day trial period so you can get a firsthand look at how my work style fits with your company?”

Get the idea? Your goal is not only to highlight your abilities, (like being able to hit the ground running) but also to alleviate concerns that might otherwise keep you from landing the job.  If you can convince yourself and prepare well, you are likely better able to convince them as well.

Tags: lesser title, potential employer, trial period, contract, overcome bias, job hunters, resume, motivation, apply for a position, overqualified, company bias, convince, creative solutions, salary, getting the job, cost of replacing a new employee, less money, challenge, communicate, HR, cover letter, highlight abilities, interivew, rejected

Are You Done, NOW WHAT?

Posted by Catherine Saar on Thu, Sep 08, 2011 @ 03:39 PM

A common question I hear from coaching clients is, “Why can’t I make a decision?”   Frequently, the answer is, because you are not ready. Either you need more information or you need to deal with the root cause of what is holding you back – like fear.   Rest assured, you will make a decision when you are ready to make it.  Usually, your gut knows when it’s time, like the gal in my video “Done”.  Often, you will commit to take action once the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of making a change.

For most people who have decided, or who are in the process of deciding whether to make a big change, small steps are a good way to start, especially if the change is a scary one.  For example, if you suddenly want to change your career, you might not want to quit your job until you have done a little research and possibly some preparation.  Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. I hear many stories about people who just up and quit and do very well for themselves, but if you are not one of those personalities, then here’s a process for you to consider:

1) Create a vision of your outcome or goal.  See it in your mind’s eye as if it is already real.  Tap into the feeling of already having what you want: joy, satisfaction, thinness, safety, whatever it is.  Keep that feeling in your pocket. Revisit it from time to time, especially during times when you need motivation.

2) Think through, brainstorm and diagram all the steps you can take to get to your goal.  Consider various options and possibilities.  Try using a mind map a vision board or sticky notes…whatever works for you to map out a path.

3) Break each step or item down into small steps, and those down into even smaller steps.

4) Commit to taking consistent action on one or more of your small steps daily or weekly.  If needed, work with a buddy or a coach, and set up accountability for yourself.

5) Keep track of your progress, pat yourself on the back, and adjust your plan as needed.

Before you know it, one small step will lead to another and you will arrive at your envisioned destination.  In short, you are done - until it’s time for your next project!

Tags: coaching, vision board, mind map, commit, change, goal, decision, motivation, fear, vision, coach, brainstorm