Project U. Blog

The Value of Accepting Who You Are

Posted by Catherine Saar on Sun, Oct 22, 2017 @ 12:04 PM

I loved this video.  It is a great reminder that facing our fears opens the door to becoming all that we dream.  May you find your way to gratitude and acceptance of all you are!

 

Tags: Achieving goals, gratitude, facing your fears

Is Gratitude Good for You?

Posted by Catherine Saar on Wed, Nov 21, 2012 @ 08:07 AM

Thanksgiving is a great excuse to remember the value of gratitude.  One of my favorite autumn leavesarticles on gratitude was published in the New York Times in 2011. Author John Tierney provides gratitude tips and benefits that I feel are worthy of reprise. Here’s an edited excerpt for your reading pleasure, and a link to the original article in case you want more:

Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners.  

However, if you’re not the grateful sort, here’s a guide to getting into the holiday spirit based on the work of several psychologists who have made gratitude a hot research topic:

Start with “gratitude lite.” Robert A. Emmons, of the University of California, Davis, named this technique used in his pioneering experiments “gratitude lite”. He and his fellow researcher, Dr. Michael McCullough instructed people to keep a journal listing five things for which they felt grateful, like a friend’s generosity, something they’d learned, a sunset they’d enjoyed.

The gratitude journal was brief — just one sentence for each of the five things — and done only once a week, but after two months there were significant effects. Compared with a control group, the people keeping the gratitude journal were more optimistic and felt happier. They reported fewer physical problems and spent more time working out.

Further benefits were observed in a study of polio survivors and other people with neuromuscular problems. The ones who kept a gratitude journal reported feeling happier and more optimistic than those in a control group, and these reports were corroborated by observations from their spouses. These grateful people also fell asleep more quickly at night, slept longer and woke up feeling more refreshed.

“If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep,” Dr. Emmons advises in “Thanks!” his book on gratitude research.

Don’t confuse gratitude with indebtedness. Sure, you may feel obliged to return a favor, but that’s not gratitude, at least not the way psychologists define it. Indebtedness is more of a negative feeling and doesn’t yield the same benefits as gratitude, which inclines you to be nice to anyone, not just a benefactor.

In an experiment at Northeastern University, Monica Bartlett and David DeSteno sabotaged each participant’s computer and arranged for another student to fix it. Afterward, the students who had been helped were likelier to volunteer to help someone else — a complete stranger — with an unrelated task. Gratitude promoted good karma.

Try it on your family. No matter how dysfunctional your family, gratitude can still work, says Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside.

“Do one small and unobtrusive thoughtful or generous thing for each member of your family on Thanksgiving,” she advises. “Say thank you for every thoughtful or kind gesture. Express your admiration for someone’s skills or talents — wielding that kitchen knife so masterfully, for example. And truly listen, even when your grandfather is boring you again with the same World War II story.”

Don’t counterattack. If you’re bracing for insults on Thanksgiving Day, consider a recent experiment at the University of Kentucky. After turning in a piece of writing, some students received praise for it while others got a scathing evaluation: “This is one of the worst essays I’ve ever read!”

Then each student played a computer game against the person who’d done the evaluation. The winner of the game could administer a blast of white noise to the loser. Not surprisingly, the insulted essayists retaliated against their critics by subjecting them to especially loud blasts — much louder than the noise administered by the students who’d gotten positive evaluations.

But there was an exception to this trend among a subgroup of the students: the ones who had been instructed to write essays about things for which they were grateful. After that exercise in counting their blessings, they weren’t bothered by the nasty criticism — or at least they didn’t feel compelled to amp up the noise against their critics.

“Gratitude is more than just feeling good,” says Nathan DeWall, who led the study at Kentucky.  “It helps people become less aggressive by enhancing their empathy. “It’s an equal-opportunity emotion. Anyone can experience it and benefit from it, even the most crotchety uncle at the Thanksgiving dinner table.”

Share the feeling. Why does gratitude do so much good? “More than other emotion, gratitude is the emotion of friendship,” Dr. McCullough says. “It is part of a psychological system that causes people to raise their estimates of how much value they hold in the eyes of another person. Gratitude is what happens when someone does something that causes you to realize that you matter more to that person than you thought you did.”

Try a gratitude visit. This exercise, recommended by Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, begins with writing a 300-word letter to someone who changed your life for the better. Be specific about what the person did and how it affected you. Deliver it in person, preferably without telling the person in advance what the visit is about. When you get there, read the whole thing slowly to your benefactor. “You will be happier and less depressed one month from now,” Dr. Seligman guarantees in his book “Flourish.”

Click here to link to the rest of the article.  Thanks for reading.  I am so grateful to be able to share this article (Thanks J. Tierney!) on gratitude in this blog, and wish you all a wonderful holiday season.

Note: A version of this article appeared in print on November 22, 2011, on page D1 of the New York edition with the headline: A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day.

Tags: Thanksgiving, Dr. Seligman, less depressed, thank you, gratitude, John Tierney, sleep soundly, Sonja Lyubomirsky, holiday, happier, criticism, Robert A. Emmons

A Positive Outlook Offers Real Benefits

Posted by Catherine Saar on Mon, Apr 23, 2012 @ 02:33 PM

It's not hogwash.  There is proof that a positive outlook pays off.  To that end, I loved this list of documented positivity benefits by Jon Gordon, author and coach from his latest newsletter. Find out more about Jon and  his many offerings (including a free tele-seminar) at his site www.JonGordon.com

11 Benefits of Being Positive

By Jon Gordon

Over the years I've done a lot of research on the positive effects of being positive and the negative effects of being negative. The research is clear. It really does pay to be positive and the benefits include enhanced health and longevity, happiness, career advancement, athletic performance, team building and financial success. Being positive is not just a nice way to live. It’s the way to live. In this spirit, here are 11 benefits of being positive.

1. Positive People Live Longer - In a study of nuns, those that regularly expressed positive emotions lived on average 10 years longer. (The Nun Study)

2. Positive work environments outperform negative work environments. (Daniel Goleman)

3. Positive, optimistic sales people sell more than pessimistic sales people. (Martin Seligman)

4. Positive leaders are able to make better decisions under pressure. (Heartmath.org)

5. Marriages are much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions whereas when the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages are more likely to end in divorce. (John Gottman)

6. Positive people who regularly express positive emotions are more resilient when facing stress, challenges and adversity. (Several Studies)

7. Positive people are able to maintain a broader perspective and see the big picture which helps them identify solutions where as negative people maintain a narrower perspective and tend to focus on problems. (Barbara Fredrickson)

8. Positive thoughts and emotions counter the negative effects of stress. For example, you can't be thankful and stressed at the same time. (Several Studies)

9. Positive emotions such as gratitude and appreciation help athletes perform at a higher level. (Heartmath.org)

10. Positive people have more friends which is a key factor of happiness and longevity. (Robert D. Putnam)

11. Positive and popular leaders are more likely to garner the support of others and receive pay raises and promotions and achieve greater success in the workplace. (Tim Sanders)

Visit Jon's site for more insights and goodies.  BTW, I found item 8, "Positive thoughts and emotions counter the negative effects of stress", the most useful reminder for mastering everyday living.  What resonated for you?

Tags: career, Jon Gordon, appreciation, optimistic, gratitude, longevity, better decisions, athletic performance, coach, stress, postitive thoughts, leaders, work environments, success in the workplace, benefits, happiness

Saying Thanks Creates a Happier, Healthier More Productive Workplace

Posted by Catherine Saar on Tue, Nov 22, 2011 @ 08:27 AM

Saying thank you – and acknowiStock 000010530388XSmallledging someone in your workplace for a job well done or a meaningful contribution not only can make your workplace happier – it can improve retention and performance.  

You and I don’t need to read all the polls and data to know that one of the top reasons people leave a job is because they don't feel appreciated.  Money is very important, but it only goes so far.  We all want to be recognized for the value that we contribute.  At work, a simple thank you and a show of appreciation can make all the difference.  Even Gallup, the research organization, has years of research that shows engaged employees are more productive employees. 

Case in point: Doug Conant former CEO of Campbell Soup believes that giving a pat on the back is an essential part of successful leadership.  Over a ten-year period, he wrote approximately 30,000 thank you notes to employees.  Moreover, there’s proof that his attention to employee recognition as a tool for increasing engagement paid off.   After he took the helm at Campbell, his corporate culture-rebuilding program “The Campbell Promise: Campbell Valuing People.  And People Valuing Campbell,” resulted in double-digit increases for five consecutive years at a company that had previously lost half its market value.  

If that isn’t sufficient evidence that gratitude has benefits in the workplace, consider the work of Robert Emmons,  psychologist and author.  He says that gratitude enhances our sense of self-worth, while at the same time strengthening social ties.  The best part, is that his studies show that expressing gratitude increases the not only the happiness of the receiver, but also of the giver!

With that, I just want to say, thanks for reading.  Wow, I feel better already! How about you?

Tags: successful, thank you, gratitude, Doug Conant, CEO, value, Campbell, job, top reasons people leave a job, happier, healthier, successful leadership, self-worth, social ties, more productive, apppreciation, Gallup, happiness, workplace, improve retention and performance, create, increasing engagement, Robert Emmons, acknowledgement, corporate culture, engaged